5 Reasons Your Girlfriend May Be a Whore

Number 5 - Gym Time.

She suddenly hits the gym. You know your girlfriend would rather work over a burger than a treadmill. If she mysteriously has a new thing for the gym, chances are, your girlfriend may be a whore. You think she's stretching like that for you? She's definitely not trying to impress you with her new body. There's a new man in town, and he's swinging a big dick. She needs to get in shape so she can get his attention. And that leaves you one step closer to the exit.

Number 4 - The Stripper Workout.

Fuck the gym. This whore went straight for the stripper workout. Pigs have more rhythm than her, but she's taken it upon herself to learn the moves. And she's not moving on you fella. This is definitely a sign of things to come. She should definitely be worked up after this routine. But is she working you? If not, she's working someone else. Stripper moves aren't learned for nothing. Its a Bachelor of Whore degree. And guess what her new job is?

Number 3 - Working Late.

That's right, working late. If she suddenly has to work late, and work late a lot, chances are that she's got a co-worker crush. Or worse. She might be banging the boss. Career-oriented my ass. A whore will do anything to climb the corporate anything. Visit work and see what happens. Offer to bring her dinner to her office. I bet that whore won't let you within 100 miles of her infidelity.

Number 2 - Technology.

Cell phones and computers: Tools of the whore trade. If she's suddenly going to the next room to pick up a phone call, you've got a Level 5 whore. If she's hiding her passwords and chatting away on the computer, she's whorified of you finding out. Watch the technology closely. Any changes equal a whore in your house.

Number 1 - Fashion.

You know how your whore dresses. If she makes one slight change, sirens better go off in your head. Trust me, I know from experience. If she starts dressing up for the grocery store, you've got a whore. New panties to go with that short skirt? Whore. Going commando? WHORE.

Be careful, these whores will look you in your eyes and lie to you. Trust your instinct and get yourself some friends with benefits. You'll thank me in the long run.